EPICINIUM
by Shelbylou
Summary: In the aftermath of Somalia, one team member's injuries lead to months of rehabilitation. As he fights to regain his strength and get his life back on track, The journey takes its toll leaving him wondering whether life would ever be the same again. NFA white Elephant Exchange story for Meekosan. Complete, will post one chapter per day. MCGEE CENTRIC!
1. Chapter 1

**A big thank you to my wonderful Beta Gottahavemyncis. She has been my rock throughout this story and for that, I am truly grateful. **

**epicinium**

White Elephant Exchange 2013 – for meekosan

Prompt set 1) GEN, 'rehab', a character(s) are injured (or other circumstance) to where they have to go into in patient rehab (physical or other) and has to deal with the stress and emotions that comes with. (personal note, regarding this, I've been dealing with my grandmother in rehab after a car accident; no need to add this comment to the list, just offering explanation)

**AN: **The story starts off with a bit of an _AU _prologue to Truth or Consequences. The story is tagged around this episode and as you can make out, will deal with the aftermath, but in order for me to do that I'm afraid the Prologue deviates slightly from canon to fit the story. Saying that, the sequence of events leading upto it are the same and the scenario's used in the episode haven't changed. I've just _added_ to it slightly and maybe manipulated a situation to suit.

**Prologue**

EPICINIUM, EPICINI(I)

**Definitions:**

(victory)

aftermath, afterwards

Despite the cloying heat, coldness seemed to seep deep into his bones. Lying on the floor didn't help and no doubt shock had set in after being beaten and questioned over and over again in relentless waves of misery and pain. This was wrong. Their intel had been right and yet here they were tied up in a stinking cell with a small window providing a sliver of light that highlighted the dust motes that floated around the room.

"Probie. You alright?"

"Can't say that I am, Tony. You?" Tim said quietly and opened his eyes to look at his friend. Squinting against the harsh glare, he was pleased to see Tony looking relatively okay.

"I cannot lie." Tony answered and huffed at Tim's incredulous snort. "No, really. They gave me truth serum. Hey, you know this reminds me of a film..."

"Not now, Tony. Okay? Not now."

"What's going on probie?"

Tim shook his head and sighed heavily. "Just...you know. We're here..."

Tony nodded and glanced around their cell. "Sure we are, but you know Gibbs will get us out. He knows we're here."

"I know." Tim thought back to when he was thrown into the cell followed by Saleem.

_**1 Hour ago…**_

"_You will tell me all that you know. Who you are? How you ended up here? What you are doing? And you will talk."  
_

'_What?' Tim struggled to listen to what was being said. After being beaten to unconsciousness, he found it difficult to track what was going on. The moment he had come to, he knew he was in trouble. His head felt like lead and pounded unmercifully making the nausea rise with every breath. Damn concussion! Keeping his eyes closed, he tried to follow the conversation knowing that it was imperative he know exactly what their situation was._

"_I'm not going to tell you anything."_

"_The Soviets had some success with pure ethanol. This formula is of my own design. A mixture of sodium Pentothal and several other agents I have found...Effective in extracting the truth. Will not take long for it to start working."_

'_Soviets? Pure ethanol? What?...Aww crap! Truth serum!' Tim had opened his eyes to slits just before Saleem's spiel and watched as the needle plunged into Tony's arm. It was all he could do to stop himself from crying out.  
_

"_You're going to be dead soon, you know. Truth or not. I tell you, I think this stuff is working already."_

'_Jesus…Tony ,don't antagonise the guy.' Tim thought. There was no knowing how this was going to go and it was possible that Saleem's temper would blow, leaving them both in trouble.  
_

"_You know, I...I have studied America. Carefully. I believe in knowing my enemy."_

_Shuddering at the softly spoken tone, Tim remembered the gentle timbre right before the blows rained down on him. At one point, he must have passed because when he woke up, he was being dragged into this very room._

"_I believe a man is as big as what he's seeking. I believe you're a big man, Mr. MacReedy."_

_"My name is Saleem Ulman. You will tell me who you are."_

_"I'm very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo of the Naval Criminal Investigative Service."_

_'Tony, please…don't say anything else. Please…' Knowing he couldn't plead out loud, Tim hoped that a part of Tony's mind managed to somehow go round the drugs coursing through his system.  
_

_"You know, a few months ago...I had, uh, not even heard...of NCIS. And that may have cost the lives of several of my people. That will not happen again. Now please tell me. What is your mission?"_

_"We're... we're tasked with pursuing crimes that involve the United States Navy or Marine Corps and their families. And our duties are expansive. International terrorism, espionage. Even, you know, an eight ball of methamphetamine."_

_And with a herculean effort, Tim fought against the blackness that threatened once again once the throbbing in his head became too much…_

**Now…**

"McGoo! Stay with me!"

"What? Tony, I'm right here." Tim mumbled winced at the pain in his back. "This floor is uncomfortable."

Tony snorted out a laugh. "I bet. Anyway, what do you think he's gonna do next?"

"I don't know Tony. I was unconscious for the best part of the conversation." Tim replied softly and opened his eyes to look at Tony. "Came too when I was kicked onto my back."

"Damn. Probie, anything else you're not telling me?"

"Like what?"

Tony sighed heavily. "Oh I don't know, anything other injuries you might have. Look Tim. I don't know what he did to you and I'm worried okay?" Tony frowned and waited for his partner to respond.

"I know they beat me for information, but I just kept telling them my name, status in NCIS and my badge number. Didn't know what else to do. Apparently they didn't like that."

"Uh huh. Okay, just…just play it cool for now. Believe it or not, you're my best bud and I don't want anything to happen to ya."

Tim laughed at that. "Best bud huh? You wouldn't admit that if you weren't full of truth serum."

"Well it's true, Probie. Can't li..lie, remember?", Tony coughed and winced at the dryness in his throat. "It's hot as hell in here. I could do with some water."

"I'm not hot…" Tim mumbled and winced when he moved his bound legs. Pain shot through his back.

"Tim…"

"Tony, I'm good. Just…can't you ask them for water?"

"Saleem, that SOB, already teased me. Turns out our little captor is fond of the POW. But we already knew that, didn't we. I mean that's the link and…"

Tim frowned. "Tony! Yeah, we knew that." He licked his dry lips but it didn't make a difference in lieu of the dryness in his mouth. "He confirmed it?"

"Threw his water skin in a fit of temper…gotta love temper tantrums…and it was full of the stuff. Abby would have sobbed at the loss."

"Well at least that's something." Tim replied.

"Thought you said you came to when he rolled ya?" Tony said with concern.

"I did. Guess I passed out again. Damn my head is pounding and my bac…doesn't matter. I wasn't tracking the conversation properly."

"Back? Your back? Probie…"

"It's probably bruises, Tony." Tim interrupted. "That's all. Anyway, I seemed to wake up to Saleem leaving and you know the rest."

"Yeah, back to that. When I asked if you were Okay, you said you weren't. Just before that, you asked when we move. You gonna make it?"

Tim nodded slightly and licked his dry, cracked lips again. "Don't have a choice, Tony. We've got to make it."

"Yes we do." Tony had a nagging feeling eating away at him. He had known Tim long enough to pick up on his nuances, especially the ones where something was wrong. "Still think we've got him rattled?"

"Hell yes." Tim replied. "But I'll still hang on for your cu…"

Tim was cut off by yelling outside the cell before the door crashed open. It made him jump slightly. Luckily, whoever it was coming in did not notice and the noise gave him just enough time to close his eyes to feign unconsciousness once again. He heard a scuffle before Saleem's voice rang through the cell.

"Questions are being asked in town about missing NCIS agents. Concern that U.S. forces might mobilize. One of you will tell the identities and locations of all the operatives in the area and the other one will die."

Tim head the sound of material rustling and cracked his eyes open enough to see what was going on. He had to hold back from gasping at the sight of Ziva sitting there. From his perspective, he couldn't see her face and could only see her dishevelled hair. He hoped that she hadn't been treated the same way that both he and Tony had. Glancing at Tony, he tried to judge the look on his friends face, but all Tim saw was a knowing kind of shock that echoed his own.

"I'll give you a moment to decide who lives." Tim closed his eyes again and waited for Saleem to leave.

"Well, how was your summer?" Tim heard Tony ask and turned towards them both, watching the scene unfold. They had spent time searching for Ziva; sure that they would be bringing her back in a coffin. Instead, fate bought them to Saleem and now the game had changed; now they were bringing the S.O.B down _and_ rescuing their dear friend and teammate.

"Out of everyone in the world who could have found me, it had to be you." Ziva's voice was soft and heavy with a sadness that betrayed her stoic demeanour and gave Tim an insight into how she was feeling.

"You're welcome. So, you glad to see me?" Tim frowned at Tony's bluntness. He was trying to be strong, but truthfully the months of searching and working the case had taken its toll on all of them; more so on Tony whose façade crumbled more and more with guilt over Rivkin…or rather, guilt over how badly Rivkin's death had impacted Ziva.

"You should not have come." Ziva replied softly.

"All right then. Good catching up, I'll be going now." Tim watched as Tony tried to stand, but is stopped by his restraints. "Oh, yeah, I forgot. Taken prisoner."

Tim was about to say something to Tony. He wanted to shout and tell Tony to stop being an arse, but before he could, Ziva asked him a question.

"Are you all right, McGee?"

Well, wasn't that the million dollar question. Was he alright? No, not really. The more he laid there, the worse the tingling numbness got.

"I'm just glad you're alive." He replied and glanced at Tony who was scrutinizing him with a frown. Of course, Tony knew he wasn't, but there was no need to worry Ziva just yet.

"You thought I was dead." Ziva asked unaware of what was silently going on between the two men.

"Oh yeah." Tony's focus returned to Ziva.

"Then why are you here?"

"Well, McGee…McGee didn't think you were dead."

"Tony, why are _you _here?"

"Couldn't live without you I guess." Tony answered honestly; not that he could lie given the drugs coursing through his system.

"So you will die with me. You should have left me alone." Tim felt his heart sink like a stone. Sure, there a small chance that they would die, but Gibbs was still out there and there was no way the Boss was going to leave his team to die, including Ziva. That was not all that broke his heart though. Ziva wasn't one for giving up and the defeatist attitude she currently held gave hint to the fact that her spirit had been broken.

"Okay, tried, couldn't. Listen, you should know I've taken some kind of truth serum, so if there's any questions that you don't want to know the answer to…"

"I did not ask for anyone to put themselves in harm's way for me. I do not deserve it." True, she had not, but she apparently didn't know them that well. They had mounted this mission to find her and they sure as hell wasn't going to leave without her now.

"So what are you doing out here, some kind of monastic experience? Doing penance?"

"Tony…" Tim groaned with weakly with despair. Now was not the time, but it was obvious that his two friends had either ignored him, or simply not heard him at all.

"It is justified."

"Get over yourself."

"I have…Now you tell Saleem everything he wants to hear. And you have to try to save yourselves. I am ready to die."

"That's not how it works." Tim said a little louder so that he could be heard this time. He frowned as the words slurred but didn't care. They didn't have time for this.

"How what works?" Ziva asked.

"The plan."

"You have an escape plan?" Tim narrowed his eyes at Tony when he winked and clicked his tongue. "Tony…they have 30 men, heavily armed. They have anti-tanks and anti-planes weapons. What do you have?"

"Well, that's where things get a little tricky."

"Tricky? Tony, hacking into the CIA and other government agencies is tricky. This…this is…"

"Have a little faith, Probie! Trust me, hacking…not tricky. You could do that in your sleep. This is just another day in the office for the good ole MRCT."

"Apparently your days in the office are different from mine." Tim argued. "Ziva, we have a plan. It might not work, we're willing to try if it means we all get out alive."

"Okay. How….how did you two get here?"

"We were scouting the area using a mapped out grid. Originally, we were looking for Saleem…" Tony started to explain.

"Scouting the area?" Ziva shook her head sadly. "That was dangerous…"

"Yeah…" Tim agreed and picked up the story. He told her of how they travelled in the jeep; of clearing one area and just as he was calling it in, they were apprehended by Saleem's men."

"Our little Probie has some language skills." Tony huffed out. "Don't know what he said to them, but…"

"Tony, please." Ziva pleaded, wanting to know the rest of their story.

"Sorry. We were ambushed. Tim took a punch to the face and we were brought here."

"McGee, are you sure you are okay?" Ziva asked gently.

"I'll be fine."

"Sure you will, McGoo. Anyway, everything went to plan."

"Wait…you got captured on purpose?"

"Yeah." Tony whispered so as not to be overheard. As odd as it sounded, they were actually right where they wanted to be.

"These men are killers, Tony." Ziva dropped her voice to a whisper too knowing that if whatever plan they had concocted was overheard, then they would all surely be dead.

"I know. That's why we have to stay alive long enough to not get dead."

"That would involve being rescued." Ziva replied sadly. In her mind, the chances of that happening were slim to none.

"Yes it would."

"How long will it take?"

Tony shrugged slightly. "I don't know. How long do you think I've been talking?"

Ziva stiffened in her chair and leaned forward as much as her bonds allowed. "What's the plan?" she hissed, her anger rising. Part of her understood _why_ they had done what they had; but what she did not understand was how they could pull it off without effectively getting them all killed.

"Oh, well…" Tony explains and glances towards Tim who was watching the exchange quietly. "We fail to contact Dubai, word gets to the carrier group in the Med and they scramble F-22 Raptors that burn sand into glass. How long it's gonna take, I don't know. Hours or…days."

Tim lay there, noticing the way Ziva's shoulders slumped. The plan itself sounded good in theory, but now that they were in the mix of it; bloodied, beaten, drugged and bound, it seemed farfetched. He was pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of the key turning in the door.

"Ziva, can you fight?" Ziva frowned and nodded once before the door opened and Saleem entered, carrying a knife.

"Oh, hey, Saleem. What's up, man? What's the commotion?"

"We're moving out." Saleem replied and moved further into the room to stand behind Ziva.

"Oh, well, that's good. I was getting kind of tired of this place." Tony's attempt at keeping the mood light fell on deaf ears. Tim and Ziva knew that it took a lot for Tony to completely lose that sense of humour that could be grating at times, but It usually managed to alleviate some degree of stress within them, not that they'd ever admit to that.

Tim watched with barely open eyes as Saleem moved towards the window to glance out of it. "We're not taking prisoners."

"Oh, well, okay, it was nice talking with you." Tim frowned internally and wondered just what it was Tony was doing. There had to be a point to his taunts. In the midst of his thoughts, Tim's eyes snapped open at a scuffle and what he saw turned his stomach. He had to do something! Saleem had Ziva's head pulled back and a knife to her throat.

"No. We're not done yet."

"If they do not check in, their people will come looking for them." Ziva bit out.

"Ziva, shut up."

"Kill me. You'll need the Americans for leverage." Ziva ignored Tony's warning and carried on trying to bargain with Saleem.

"I don't make bargains."

Tony frowned briefly and glanced at Tim who just nodded. Taking a deep breath, Tony interjected, "Do you make pizza?"

"What?" Saleem asked, confused at the seemingly random question. He didn't have long to ponder it because Tim took the opportunity to kick out at their captor's legs, knocking him to the floor. Saleem's knife skittered across the concrete and Tim knew he had to get to it. That knife was the only chance he had at levelling the playing field. Despite being bound and injured, Tim grabbed at the knife but was too slow as he found himself looking down the barrel of a gun.

"Stop! Stop! There's something I haven't told you yet." Tony pleaded desperately. Saleem's aim didn't waiver and he kept his gun trained firmly on Tim.

"And what is that?"

"Well, I told you about the brains, I told you about the guts, I told you about the muscle, the scientist, the politician, the leader. I told you about every member of the team except myself. The part I play."

"Which is?" Saleem replies as he stands up from his position on the floor. Tim felt relief flood through him as the gun was aimed elsewhere, but still, the situation was dire and chances are Tony was only buying a little bit of time for them all before execution.

"I'm the wild card. I'm the guy who looks at the reality in front of him and refuses to accept it. Like, right now I should be terrified, right? But I'm not. 'Cause I just can't stop thinking about the movie True Lies, you know, where Arnie's strapped to the chair and shot full of truth serum then he picks his cuffs and kills everybody. You have 30 seconds to live, Saleem."

Saleem's nervous laugh rings through the makeshift cell. "You're still bound. You're lying."

"I can't lie. And I didn't say I was going to be the one to kill you. Remember when I told you my boss was a sniper?"

Tony's timing could not have been better as a bullet whizzes through the window and straight through Saleem's head. It was a kill shot born of experience and a sharp eye; one that only one man they knew could make. Ziva gasped into the room.

"Gibbs…"

"Well, didn't think we'd leave him in DC did'ya?" Tony asked. "Probie!"

"On it." Tim replied and scrambled as best he could to grab the knife. Once his fingers slid over the rubber hilt, he grasped and turned it so that he could use the blade to saw through his ties. Given his position, it took a little bit longer, but once free, he slowly stood up and made his way over to Tony. "I'll do you next, Zee."

Ziva nodded and frowned at Tim's slow, sluggish movements. "McGee, are you alright?"

"I've been better. No time to worry about it now." Gunshots rang through the corridors outside their cell and Tim glanced up to see a guard entering.

"Okay, look out!" Tim ducked at Tony's warning, but carried on regardless, only sparing a passing glance at the guard as he went down with a bullet through his chest. "We've got to go!" he said and nudged Tony's arm to let him know he was free. Moving to Ziva, he was vaguely aware of the tingling sensation that was slowly making its way down his legs.

"McGee…Tim, look at me." Ziva had turned as much as she could. "What is wrong? You are…your movements…"

"Said he hurt his back, Zee. Stubborn…"

"Hey!" Tim shouted. "This, is not the time." He carried on cutting through Ziva's bonds. "When we get out of here, we can all get the medical attention we need, for now, let's just concentrate on getting out of this complex." Tim stood up and reached down to help Ziva stand. She started to shrug him off, but the months of captivity and the beatings took their toll and her legs were weak. "Not the time to be stoic, Zee." Tim grabbed her arm and hauled her up, ignoring the sharp twinge of pain in his back. Tony moved to her other side and both men slung one of her arms over their shoulder.

"Come on. Here we go. All right!" Tony soothed as they made their way out of the room and down the corridors. Ziva slowed briefly. "Come on, all right, Ziva. Here we go."

His repetitive words seemed to have an effect and she picked up the pace only to have Tim wince with the hastened pace. Tim knew that his injuries were worse than he was making out, but adrenaline kept him moving forward. He just hoped his limping and the gun hanging listlessly in his left hand wouldn't be noticed. He was lost in his thoughts and the drive to get out and didn't notice one of Saleem's men come up behind them. There was a sharp blow to the bottom of his back and Tim's legs buckled beneath him. The numbness instant and incapacitating.

"Tim!"

"Probie!"

A shot drowned out their cries and the guard that had attacked dropped with blood gushing from a head wound. "Gibbs?" Ziva asked quietly and knelt down to her fallen friend. "McGee…Tim, where does it hurt?"

Tim frowned and shook his head. "It doesn't." he panted out, panic prevalent in light of the situation. "Ziva, I'm…I can't feel my legs."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Hi everyone. I just want to thank you all for your wonderful gorgeous reviews. I will reply to you all individually after posting this, but you really did make my day. For the two people that reviewed as guests, I just want to explain what happened. have changed the way in which you can chose characters. You can now add up to 4 and I wasn't aware that despite putting Tim first on the list, it automatically sorts them upon posting. This has now been rectified and the story should only show Tim rather than Gibbs and Tony as the main characters. I apologise for any confusion there.**

**Another big thank you to my beta, gottahavemyncis. Puppypants, you are so right, she is fantastic and you can't go wrong with her ;) **

* * *

EPICINIUM Chapter 2.

"How long?" Tony asked. His voice was quiet, reflecting the mood in the room.

"I don't know, Anthony." Ducky replied. "You must have patience my dear boy. The doctors can't rush the diagnosis and treatment."

Tony nodded and stood up, slowly whilst stretching his stiff muscles. "Okay then in that case I'm going for coffee. I can't sit around here any longer doing nothing!"

"Anthony..."

"Ducky, I'll be fine. I just need to think. Tell the boss where I am and I'll be back soon." Tony started to walk out of the room but was stopped by Ziva's soft hand on his wrist. With a heavy sigh of frustration born of the need to be alone for a short while, he knelt down in front of her. "Zee, you okay?" He waited for a response but didn't get one. Truthfully, he didn't need one because Ziva's dark eyes betrayed everything she was feeling at that moment in time. "Look, Zee I know you say you're fine, but..."

"As do you, Tony and I know Director Vance wants a medical evaluation done here but…" Ziva replied softly but stopped when her voice hitched. "But McGee is more important."

Tony nodded his agreement. "Yes he is, but still, Vance…"

"Tony, we got the okay from the medics in Somalia. The director can wait. All I can think of is that Somalia didn't have the care McGee needed. They were basic."

"It might be basic, but lots of men get injured in war and those guys are the first line medics that keep people alive. They did what they could and McGoo is going to be fine." Tony hated that Ziva was so despondent and despite the negative emotions flickering through her eyes, they held a strangely blank, haunted look that would stay with Tony for a long time. "Do you want me to get you anything, Zee?"

"No…yes…I…I don't know."

"Anthony, might I suggest some sweet tea. It will help a little." Ducky suggested, hoping it would help with whatever was going through Ziva's mind.

"Tea okay with you?" Ziva nodded. "Okay, Ducky, Earl Grey, I'll get Abbs a coffee and jimmy a…huh. What does the autopsy gremlin drink?"

Ducky huffed indignantly. "You'd do well not to call him that to his face, Anthony and Mr. Palmer has become quite partial to Earl Grey. I think I might actually have converted him."

"I'd apologise but…" With a shrug and a huffed laugh, Tony stood up but didn't let go of Ziva's hand. "Eh. Each to their own. Do you know where he's gone? Abbs is with the boss, but I haven't seen Palmer for a while."

"He's with Director Vance making arrangements for our guest. I believe he will be arriving in the morning."

"Guest?" Ziva looked up at Ducky and frowned. "Who?"

Ducky sighed heavily. "I apologise, I wasn't aware that you didn't know. Saleem Ulman is to be transported to Washington tonight and will be with us tomorrow afternoon. The Secretary of the Navy hasn't specified why, but has made an order that we are to autopsy the body as soon as possible and file the report with the relevant case. I presume it's to confirm who the deceased is."

"More than likely. SecNav doesn't like leaving loose ends. What about the others working under him?"

"That, I do not know, Anthony. I do know that the deceased were taken care of in Somalia, all but Ulman. I did hear talk of the surviving members being transferred to a United States controlled facility out there, but again, I can't be sure until it has been confirmed."

"But what will happen to them. Will they be released? Will they be held? They are not on US soil; they cannot be tried the way..."

"Ziva, why do you want to know, huh?" Tony asked. "We're home; we're safe."

"Because they had me all summer. I have been a prisoner for them to use as they see fit and beat. I want to know what will happen because I want retribution. I want to know they will be punished for what they did and if my father cannot deliver that, then I have to know whether or not NCIS and the Marines will." Ziva's words were laced with a poison that Tony didn't like. It left him wondering exactly what they had done to Ziva to make her so angry and dead inside.

"Ziva, stand down." Gibbs walked into the waiting room with his arm around Abby. The Goth had her head resting on Gibbs shoulder, but as soon as they walked in, Ducky opened his arms inviting her to go and sit with him. "Abbs, go on, it's alright." Once Abby was safely ensconced in Ducky's arms, he turned to his broken team members. "Okay, listen up. The survivors are being transferred to Gitmo as we speak…"

"Gitmo? Boss, I'm not getting that."

"DiNozzo, they killed Marines and were part of a terrorist cell working within the US. SecNav had confirmation of a presidential order to have them transferred."

"No questions asked." Tony replied dryly and Gibbs nodded curtly.

"Duck's right about the body. We have Ulman's records so we can confirm that it's him." Gibbs' comment shocked them all because they were unaware that Gibbs had been listening.

Ziva gave a resigned sigh and settled back in her seat. At least that little bit of news had soothed her agitation; now all they had to do is work on getting her to open up about the past few months.

"Um…Boss, I need to clear my head. I can't think. I'm gonna grab some coffee, you want some?"

"That'd be good. Here." Gibbs reached for his wallet and pulled out some money. Tony frowned but took it.

"Thanks, Boss."

"Go." Gibbs replied but laid his hand on Tony's shoulder. "Keep your cell on."

"Always do, Boss." Tony replied and left the room. Gibbs made his way over to the chair next to Ziva and sat down before wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her in. Ziva stiffened slightly, but soon melted into the comfort. "Where's Palmer and Vance?"

"I thought you heard…never mind. They stopped to make the arrangements for our guests, Jethro. I fully trust Mr. Palmer with that duty." Ducky replied." They should be back soon."

"Good." Gibbs turned to Ziva "Good to have you back, Ziver." he said gently and kissed the top of her head. "We've missed you."

"Thank you." Ziva replied quietly.

"How're you doing?"

"I'm alright, Gibbs. Worry about Tim, not me."  
Gibbs sighed. "Right now, I'm worried about all of ya." Ziva just rested her head on his shoulder and closed off completely leaving the Team leader at a loss. He knew his kids, and he knew that each of them had ways of dealing with stress, unfortunately, Ziva's was to try and rationalise in her own mind and then talk.  
Silence reigned as they were all left to their own thoughts. Soon exhaustion, both physical and mental settled in and both girls dozed off on the men's shoulders. Ducky and Gibbs didn't need words and didn't need to fill a silence. Their friendship was so strong that they could both sit with their own thoughts knowing that there was no malice or uncomfortable moments between them. After about a half an hour, Tony returned with the drinks and set them down quietly on the small table in the middle of the room.

"You okay, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked softly.

"I'm good, Boss. Here." Tony handed Gibbs his change and his drink. "Finally getting some sleep then." He flicked his head towards Ziva.

"Yeah. She's finally crashed. She…"

"Agent Timothy McGee's family?" a young doctor was standing at the door. Her voice sliced through the quiet room and woke Abby and Ziva. Gibbs kissed the top of Ziva's head and stood up, letting Tony take her.

"That's us."

"I'm sorry, but you are?"

"Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs." Gibbs pulled out his ID. "I'm listed as one of his Proxies."

The doctor opened the notes she was carrying and nodded. "Of course. Please, would you like to follow me and…"

"Whatever you say, you say in front of them."

"Agent Gibbs, I can't discuss my patient with anyone else but the listed proxies or family."

"They're his family and I'm only gonna tell 'em anyway."

At Gibbs' glare, the doctor backed down and nodded her head. "Okay. My name's Doctor Ashlyn Bauer, but I prefer Ash. I'm a resident here at Bethesda. Now, we have the notes that were transferred over from the Naval medical base over in Somalia, but there is only so much they can do, being a military run emergency medical facility. From what they said, Agent McGee presented with paralysis from the waist down leading them to conclude that there was a spinal injury. They took x-rays but couldn't see anything significant and authorised travel back to Washington under medical supervision so that he'd get the best care…"

"We weren't exactly welcome over there." Tony interjected. "They wanted to send him to the Somalian hospital but given the circumstances they made a judgment call to bring him home."

"I understand." Ash replied sympathetically. "Rest assured Agent McGee…"

"Tim." Ziva but in. "His name is Tim."

Ash nodded. "Tim, is comfortable and we have him stabilised. He did present with some residual dehydration which we are treating, and the other injuries he sustained in captivity are relatively minor and will heal with time. What we're worried about is his back. He has extensive bruising in the lower lumbar area, but nothing is showing on the x-rays we have taken. It may be a case of the swelling pushing on the spinal cord, or there could be something more sinister going on. We won't know until we can run an MRI to get a clearer picture."

"Spinal injury. Ducky that's not good." Abby said sadly. "I mean, what if…"

"Abigail, let's not borrow trouble, my dear."

"Indeed." Ash agreed. "Until we know for sure what we are dealing with, we are treating the injuries as worst case scenarios. I can tell you that Tim is comfortable and is currently resting as best he can."

"Can I see him?" Gibbs asked. Tim had been put on a specially designed medical transport which had left earlier than the rest of the team. They hadn't seen Tim since then, and Gibbs needed to know for himself that his younger boy was okay.

"It's unusual, but of course. Given the circumstances I think it would be good for Tim to see a familiar face. He has asked about his team…speaking of which, I will be sending a colleague of mine in to begin the medical assessments as per your Directors request. I presume you are all here?"

"We are." Gibbs responded. "You can start with Ziva Da'vid."

Ash nodded and smiled. "Don't worry, we shouldn't take too long. Now, Agent Gibbs, would you like to follow me." She led Gibbs out into the corridor and to Tim's treatment room. "I will warn you, your agent is still immobilised and due to the nature of his injuries, there are numerous wires and IVs attached. Don't be alarmed and when you speak to him, try to get in his line of sight. We don't want him moving at the moment."

Gibbs nodded and followed the doctor in when she opened the door. Despite the doctor's warning, the sight of Tim shocked him. His boy was lying flat on his back with his head ensconced in what looked like padded bricks with straps. He had a collar around his neck and his body was strapped down to prevent any movement at all. It broke Gibbs' heart but the Team Leader knew he had to be there for his boy and had to be strong. He moved to stand next to the bed and leaned in so that Tim could see him.

"Hey, Boss." Tim's voice was quiet, almost a whisper. "You okay?"

"I'm fine, Tim. It's you I'm worried about. How're you feeling?"

"Numb." Tim paused and sucked in a deep breath. "My…my legs are…boss, they were tingling when we were in that room but I thought it was because I'd been in the same position. I knew my back had been hurt but not this badly."

"It's okay, Tim. I've spoken to DiNozzo. That last hit probably just made whatever injuries you had worse."

Tears leaked out of the side of Tim's eyes as the events and the severity of his injuries overwhelmed him. "What if I can't walk again, Boss. What will I do then?"

"You'll carry on and adapt."

"How?"

"Not on your own, Son. You've got us to help." Gibbs reached forward and wiped the tears away from Tim's eyes. "You're not alone, Tim. Never forget that."


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N I just want to say, i'm not a Doctor or a Nurse and all medical information is courtesy of the internet so apologies for any errors. Also, thank you to my fantastic beta Gotta. She sent the document back and gave me a hint as to what she would like to see. I liked it that much, I wrote it in at the end of the chapter and she hasn't seen it so any mistakes in the ducky/gibbs conversation are most definitely, mine.**_

EPICINIUM CHAPTER 3

Gibbs had stayed with Tim and been his rock throughout the myriad of tests and doctors' reports. Without him, Tim was sure he would have gone insane but he also knew that the Team Leader was exhausted and needed to rest. Now, Tim was in a room in the Spinal unit at Bethesda and had nothing but the ceiling to stare at because of the straps and moulds that they had placed around his body. He couldn't move. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep. His body had finally given in to the bone deep exhaustion that plagued him, but sleep was short lived and now he found himself wide-awake and unable to drop off again. Taking a chance that the Boss was there, Tim called out softly.

"Boss?" No answer. Maybe Gibbs had finally gone home. "Boss? You there?" Tim said loudly. He had nothing to lose; if Gibbs were not there then no one would answer. He stroked the button under his finger; debated using it to call a nurse when he heard shuffling beside him.

"I'm here, Tim. You okay?"

"Boss, you should go home." Tim said. "There's no point in you staying here. Not like I can go anywhere."

Gibbs huffed out a short laugh and stood up, stretching before moving into Tim's eye line. "Not going anywhere, McGee. Not till we know what is going on."

"We know what's going on. I'm screwed." Gibbs reached up and gently tapped the top of Tim's head. "What? Hey!"

"That's for thinking I'm going to leave you. Now quit worrying about me and let's wait to see what's going on before you make the judgement that you're screwed."

Tim's head moved slightly earning him a glare from Gibbs. "Sorry, habit." He said and at Gibbs' raised eyebrow he gulped. "Yes, Boss."

"McGee, you need to stay still. You know that. I know it's hard, but damn, if there's a chance your spine isn't permanently damaged then let's do what they say."

"Yes, boss." Tim replied. "Gibbs."

"Yeah." Gibbs hadn't moved from his spot beside Tim so his young agent could still see him.

"What if I can't walk or do my job. What then?"

"Well, then we find you something else. You're on my team, that's not going to change. I'll fight for you to stay and if it comes to it, you can work your desk with us on cases."

"Promise?"

"I can't promise, but I'll damn well fight for it."

Tim felt his eyes well up with tears. He was exhausted, his emotions were shot and he wanted desperately to let go of the knot that was tight in his chest. "Thanks, Boss."

"Hey, if you need to cry, then cry. No shame in that. Only me and you here." Tim nodded and felt the tears slip from his eyes. He was unable to do anything to wipe them away so just let them fall. He felt Gibbs' calloused hand slip into his and squeeze, letting him know he wasn't alone. He closed his eyes and sobbed silently, only opening them when he felt Gibbs wiping away the tears that fell.

"Thanks, Boss."

"McGee…Tim, you need to sleep. I'm not going anywhere so just call out if you need me. You want me to get the nurse to give you something?"

"No. But thanks, Boss."

Gibbs nodded and moved his hand from Tim's cheek and brushed his hair back. Resting his hand on the top of his boy's head meant he could gently rub his thumb across Tim's forehead; an action that soon soothed Tim into a peaceful sleep.

***NCIS***

It had been a long night for Doctor Ashlyn Bauer. She loved her job and loved the work that she did but the hours were long, especially when a patient came in needing her full and undivided attention. She was known amongst her colleagues, to stay beyond her working hours just to carry on working on a case that tugged at her heartstrings and Timothy McGee's case certainly had. The backstory as to how he got his injuries really affected her and despite the rest of the team being battered and bruised but as a whole okay, she found herself really wanting to help him. Sitting back in her chair, she stretched with a yawn.

"Girl, you look like you're gonna drop! Go home!" Brenda, one of the senior nurses sat down behind the desk on the ward and smiled warmly. She was a big black woman with a heart of pure gold and Ash loved her dearly.

"Hey there, hun. I will as soon as I get the MRI results through. They're pretty busy down there tonight so it's taking longer."

"Uh huh. So, you've been here since yesterday morning, working a double shift and staying on for… ?"

Ash sighed and rubbed her hand over her face. Long hours were a part of the job, a part she was used to. "You know me, Brenda, when I get a call from the ER needing me, I'm there and this patient got his injuries in Somalia rescuing a colleague."

"Military?"

Ash shook her head. "NCIS, believe it or not. I was talking to him and he told me they hadn't even known their teammate was alive. He was beaten badly enough to damage his back and I need to know how badly."

"Sweetheart, you have a big heart, one that'll give out one day because you work yourself to the bone. Promise me this, you get those results, speak to your boy and then go home and get some sleep. I'm on a double myself, so I'll be here till tomorrow night. I promise I'll look after your boy."

"And his Boss." Ash chuckled. "The guy hasn't left Agent McGee's side since being taken to him in the ER."

"Well, you know me. Anyone needs taking care of, I'm your girl."

Ash nodded and yawned. "Yes you ar…" The computer dinged signalling an internal email and Ash opened up the server hoping that it was the information she needed. Luckily, it was and after scrutinizing it, she sat back with a grin. Brenda put her pen down and raised her eyebrows.

"Good news?"

"As good as it gets given the circumstances. Come on, I'll introduce you to our patient while I tell him what's going on. I have a feeling you're going to be seeing a lot of him."

Brenda laughed loudly at that, her joyous, heartfelt laughter was a constant when it came to the spinal unit and always made patients and staff laugh with her. "You know me, sugar. I like my patients to be well looked after and get the best out of their time here they can."

"And that's why I love you, hun. That and you're my best friend." Together, they laughed and made their way to Tim's room hoping that the news they were going to give would be well received.

***NCIS***

Gibbs had only just settled back down in the visitor's chair when Ash and Brenda walked in the room. They smiled at the older man, and Ash quirked her head towards Tim.

"Finally asleep?"

"Yeah. He's exhausted but there's too much going on in that head of his." Gibbs looked at Ash and smiled. "Brain like a computer and a heart of gold. He puts up with a lot."

"I bet. Gibbs, I want to introduce you to Brenda, she's the head honcho of the nursing staff and will be one of Tim's main caregivers in here. She's worked with Spinal injuries for the better part of ten years and there's no one better equipped to help your boy."

Gibbs nodded and held out his hand. "Good to have you on board."

"My pleasure, Agent Gibbs. Ashlyn has filled me in on the case and asked me to attend while she told you what was going on. It'll give me more of an idea of the exact issues we're facing."

"Unfortunately," Ash intervened, "we will need to wake Tim. I've been here for the better part of 3 days already, and I really do need to sleep before I drop. I just wanted to get the results in first. Either that, or I can tell you and you can pass it on with Brenda's help, but I like my patients to hear it from me. For some reason it helps hearing it from their doctor."

Gibbs frowned but nodded. "So, you're the doc on this unit?"

"Sure am. I get called in when there's a suspected spinal injury in the ER."

"Okay. Well, I'll wake him up, but I warn you, he hasn't slept much and now he's down, I don't know how much he'll take in."

"I appreciate you trying at least, Agent Gibbs. Like I said, we can talk to you and you can relay the information if that helps."  
Gibbs weighed up the pros and cons of having Tim woken up. The kid hadn't slept well, and had trouble falling asleep before so truthfully, it'd be better to let him sleep. "I think that's better. How about we go and grab a coffee and we can talk."

Ash nodded. "Okay, sounds good. Brenda here will stay with Tim. We know what it's like on the first night for the patients, so we try and have someone there at all times."

Brenda walked to the bed and started doing the usual checks, giving Gibbs a chance to get out of the room and go with Ashlyn. She took him to the doctors' lounge and poured two large mugs of coffee. "You're a Marine. I can tell, you all have a way about you. Figured you'd appreciate the doctors' coffee better than the stuff that passes in the cafeteria."

"You know Marines." Gibbs replied and sat down. He couldn't argue with her assessment and just smiled his thanks when a hot, steaming mug of strong black coffee was put in front of him. Once settled, he got to the point.

"So, you want to tell me what's going on with my boy, doc?"

"Well, the good news is his MRI has shown the spinal cord to be intact. There's some inflammation and there is a hairline fracture of the L5 vertebrae…that's this section here." Ash opened Tim's file and demonstrated the area on a diagram they used for diagnosis.

"Because of that fracture, we believe the paralysis and loss of functions have been caused by inflammation and fluid building up around the spinal cord and crushing it. Now initially the nerves do go into shock and that doesn't help the situation but we believe that in time, Tim will make a full recovery."

Gibbs took a sip of his coffee and frowned. "But if the cord is crushed, then what about permanent damage?"

"Initially after an injury, the nerves are in shock. The human body reacts to injury with inflammation and swelling, and the spine is no different. The problem we have is that the level of damage can't fully be assessed until that swelling goes down, which can take anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks. After that, we will be able to assess fully what level of damage has been done and what kind of rehabilitation will be needed. And that's because once the swelling recedes then some functions may return and we will have a complete picture."

Gibbs rubbed his hand over his eyes. "Doc, worst case."

"Worst case scenario, Tim will use a wheelchair for the rest of his life and may be able to stand using crutches for a very small amount of time. He'll have to learn to adapt everything in his life down to using the toilet."

"And the best is he'll completely recover?" Gibbs asked hopefully.

"Indeed. Though he may have some problems with his back in the future or some weakness in areas, he'll be completely fit and healthy and can resume his role as a field agent." Ash sipped at her coffee and assessed Gibbs. "I have a feeling that no matter what, he's got good friends and family behind him. Personally I believe that's the first step forward for any patient with injuries like Tim's."

"Yeah, he does. But right now, his friends aren't without problems of their own. Somalia did a number on all of them."

"As horrible as it sounds, Tim's injuries might very well bring everyone closer together."

Gibbs shrugged. "Yeah, or push them further apart."

"How are the rest of your team doing?"

"I spoke to them when Tim went down for the MRI. Both a bit dehydrated, but no lingering affects…physically at least."

"Unfortunately it takes time. Thankfully Agent DiNozzo hasn't got any trace of the drug in his system anymore, and Agent Da'vid is doing well considering. Now, I spoke to Dr. Mallard and he said he's taking them home with him for a couple of days."

With a nod, Gibbs offered a small smile. "Ducky knows them well."

"So all that matters now is that you are there for Tim and everyone else. From what I have seen you are the backbone, no pun intended, of your team and that is a big responsibility. Just do me a favour, and don't forget to take care of yourself as well."

"Doc, these kids might not be mine by blood, but they are mine. Just take care of my boy, and let me do the rest."

"That's commendable, agent Gibbs." Ashlyn felt a wave of respect for the man sitting in front of her.

"You'll be seeing me a lot, call me Jethro."

"Only if you call me Ash."

Gibbs nodded and drained the rest of his coffee. "Well, thanks for the coffee, Ash. I need to go call Duck."

"Duck? I thought he was called Ducky?" Ash grinned.

With a shrug and a grin, Gibbs explained. "Everyone else calls him Ducky but I've always called him Duck."

"Sounds like you're good friends." Ash stood up to refresh her drink. The one thing she needed right now was caffeine.

"For a long time now." Gibbs smiled warmly at Ash and thanked her before leaving the room. Pulling out his phone, he called hit speed dial and waited for Ducky to answer so he could get news of how his other two kids were doing.

"Jethro, how is young Timothy doing my friend?

"MRI came back. There's a fracture, but his spinal cord is in tact." Gibbs replied.

"Good news indeed, Jethro. Better than we could have hoped given the circumstances."

"Suppose so. How's Tony and Ziva doing?"

Ducky sighed heavily. "Stubborn, exhausted...but what else is new? They are worried about young Timothy and have only just given in to their bodies demands. Abigail has gone back to NCIS with Mr. Palmer."

"The bodies came in? That was quick."

"Ah, not yet my friend, but Abigail needs a distraction and Balboa's team is currently investigating another case that requires forensics and an M.E. Besides, Jimmy called Breena and she has agreed for Abigail to stay with them. I believe they are having a girls night in, much to my assitants chargrin."

Gibbs couldn't help but laugh, but felt thankful to Breena for offering to help."Palmer's got a good one there."

"Better than we know..." Ducky paused briefly. "Jethro, I have been speaking to Director Vance. He is insistent on you all completing psychiatric evaluations before you return to work, but I am concerned. I feel that a course of therapy is needed, especially for Ziva and Timothy. I have suggested as such and Leon is in full agreement.

A knot of tension unwound in his gut. Trust Ducky to do right by them all and set the wheels in motion. "It can't hurt, Duck. They've been through a lot. I'm going to go and sit with Tim. His nurse is with him, but it's not the same."

"A familiar face is what he needs now, Jethro, though you must sleep sometime, my old friend."

"I will, Duck. And thanks." Gibbs hung up and started the short walk back to Tim's room. He was worried about his family, but knew that with time, they would heal.


	4. Chapter 4

EPICINIUM Chapter 4

Three weeks later…

Ziva sat in the psychologist's office and fidgeted. Today was the day that Tim was being transferred to rehab and she wanted nothing more than to be with him but instead she had been sitting there for 40 minutes watching the minutes tick by.

"Ziva, I know you don't like these sessions but…"

"But what? Dr. Cranston, my friend is being transferred today and I would much rather be with him than here trying to work through whatever issues you think I have."

Rachel Cranston sat back in her chair and set her notepad down on her knee. "Ziva, I know you don't like coming, but you know you will be taken off duty if you don't complete the mandatory sessions. I have been speaking to Tim and know he isn't being transferred for another three hours, so how about we carry on, finish on time and then you can go on your way."

Ziva stood up with a huff and moved to the window so she could look out at the Navy Yard. "I do not see how my time there will impact my job. I have been through worse."

"Have you?"

"Do not try and twist what I say, Dr. Cranston and do not make more out of what I have just said. Tim is suffering far more than I am."

"He is? Funny, he's worried about you and the rest of your team. You don't make it easy for yourself, Ziva. That is what I have observed. You take your emotions and lock them away in the deepest recesses of your mind. The only problem is, one day that lock will break and they'll come flooding out. What will you do then? How will you cope with that?"

Ziva closed her eyes with a deep sigh, walked back to the leather chair she had vacated. "How did you end up dealing with us?"

"Long story short, after meeting the people that had an impact on my sister, I applied to join NCIS as a psychologist and got the job. But this isn't about me, Ziva. So stop changing the subject. Talk to me. How do you feel about your time in captivity?" Rachel knew she was pushing but all she needed was a foot in the door with Ziva. Every session she'd managed to draw the prickly woman out of her shell and the sessions had been productive.

"Angry." Ziva whispered. "I should not have been there. Last week…last week I talked about how I ended up there. That is not what hurts. What hurts is the fact that my father did nothing. He did not come for me."

"You said he didn't know where you were. You dropped off his radar."

Ziva sighed and nodded. "I did but…after everything that happened, after all that I did, the people that rescue me from hell is the team that I hurt. When I was being held, Saleem beat me daily. He wanted information that I would not give him."

"Ziva, did he do more than beat you?" Rachel frowned and leaned forward to make Ziva more comfortable.

"If you are asking whether he raped me, he did not. No one touched me that way, but they did try…" Ziva cut off to get her emotions under check. "One of his men, he…he came into my cell and tried to…Saleem came in and stopped him. Threw him against the wall and ordered him out. I never saw him again."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"Confused. I'm grateful that Saleem helped me, but bitter because he beat me. He hurt me physically, and emotionally. He was trained in torture, but struggled because I have seen them all before."

"So he didn't get the chance?" Rachel asked gently. Ziva might guard her feelings and hold them close to her chest, but she also knew that despite this, the Israeli held an element of insecurity and it was one that had grown since being rescued.

"No. He didn't…they…they wanted to." Ziva choked off with a sob. "But nothing like that happened."

"Okay." Rachel glanced at the clock and frowned. They had about five minutes left of the session; as usual, they had just started to scratch the surface. "Well that's good. Ziva, listen to me. If we are going to make any progress, then you really do need utilize our time together and talk to me."

Ziva frowned. "I do."

"No, you close off and it takes me the first half hour to forty minutes to get you to open up. By the time that happens, time's over and you're out of here like a shot."

"That is because I go and sit with Tim."

Rachel nodded. "I know. He said you've been a constant and have been there throughout his recovery so far. Just tell me one thing, is it out of guilt, or because you really want to be there as a friend."

With narrowed eyes, Ziva glared at the psychologist. Hearing it said like that hurt. "It is because he is my friend and I love him." With that, Ziva stood up and grabbed the bag she had brought with her. "I am going to go and see my friend now. Thank you for your time."

***NCIS***

Tim lay looking out of the window to his room. The past few weeks had been sheer hell and he had endured countless tests, being fitted for a brace and physiotherapy to help his weakened muscles. He was tired. Tired of being messed around with; tired of being bored and physically his body felt exhausted. Thankfully, he could sit up, that in itself was a blessing, but getting there had been hard and the first time had him wondering if his life would ever be normal again.

Thankfully, once the swelling around his spinal cord had started to decrease, he had begun to feel small flutters of sensation in his legs. However, they were barely there and so far the only thing he'd moved was his big toe. Baby steps, that's what he'd been told, but the frustration was prevalent and he wanted nothing more than to get back on his feet.

**_1 week ago…_**

_"Hi, Tim. And how are you today?" Tim turned his head towards Brenda and smiled. _

_"I'm bored. Fed up with lying flat on my back. Any idea when they're going to let me sit up?"_

_"Ash will be here soon, hun. Look on the bright side; at least she let you move your head." Brenda chuckled, the sound giving Tim a lift. "Besides, make the most of while you can. I know Alex is coming round today with your new brace and once that's on, physio begins."_

_"Great." Tim deadpanned. "So, if I'm being fitted for a brace…"_

_"Nuh uh. I don't know what's going on in Ash's head so you can stop using that Special Agent mojo on me."_

_"Special Agent Mojo?" Tim laughed loudly. "Is that the technical term?"_

_"It is in my dictionary…" a cough at the door stole their attention away. "Alex. My little ray of sunshine! Come on in. Ashlyn isn't here yet, but she's on her way."_

_"Good, because I have a special delivery for a Special Agent Timothy McGee. Hey Tim." _

_Tim gave a small wave. "Hey, Alex. That the brace?"_

_"Sure is." Alex held it up for Tim to see. "It's been moulded especially for you so should be comfortable. Luckily, your fracture is in the lower lumbar area, so you don't' need the full body brace, but it's still pretty restrictive. The back…" Alex turned the brace round, "is designed so that your skin can still breathe whilst being supported and the front is rigid, but we can adjust for comfort. It should sit just below your chest. Want to give it a try?" _

_"Luckily?" Tim asked, his eyebrows raised._

_"You should see the braces for the Thoracic or cervical vertebrae fractures. Hell, if it was your neck, you'd be wearing a Halo and that's no fun. So yeah, in terms of where the fracture is, you're lucky."_

_"I'll take your word for it." Tim mumbled and sighed. "Sorry, I'm just getting fed up."_

_"Understandable." Alex sympathised and moved further towards the bed. "I've made sure it's well padded so it's comfortable but I warn you, it might cause a little bit of pain at first. That fades once your spine gets used to being supported. I know we're waiting for Dr. Bauer, but fitting this bad boy only takes two people and Brenda here is a dab hand."_

_"Yes I am. Okay. Tim, we're going to roll you to the side." Brenda explained before giving him a stern look. "Do not try to help and let us do all the work."_

_Tim chuckled. "We've done it before, Brenda."_

_"Just making sure you remember." She moved to the edge of the bed to stand next to Alex. They both leaned forward and grasped Tim's left side. "Okay, on three…one, two, three." Tim rolled with ease and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Brenda nod her head at Alex letting the physio know Tim was stable._

_"You got him?" Alex asked._

_"Yes, sir. Go ahead and lay it out." Tim figured they were talking to the brace and felt straps being tucked under his body just below the ribs. He had the feeling that the straps were being tucked around his hips, but he still couldn't feel a thing below his belly button. _

_"Okay, Brenda I've got him this side, roll him back gently." Tim felt himself being laid on his back and closed his eyes. Once there, he opened them and saw Brenda gazing down at him with a smile on her face._

_"You okay?"_

_"I'm good. What now?" _

_"Now we roll you the other way." Between them both, they rolled Tim onto his other side and back again. Before he knew it, swift hands had brought both of the firm sides up and had him securely ensconced in the back brace. "How does that feel."_

_Tim frowned at the constriction around his body. "Terrible. I feel like I'm being squeezed."_

_"That's normal." Alex explained. "Unfortunately it has to be tight but it's not tight enough to cut off your circulation."_

_Brenda patted Tim on the shoulder. "I'm just going to see what's keeping Ash."_

_"Okay." Tim nodded and watched his favourite nurse leave. Five minutes later, she was back. "She's been called down to the ER. I just caught her on the way down and good news. Your latest MRI and CT shows the swelling has decreased further, so we can try and sit you up."_

_"Great!" Tim moved his arms but was stopped by Alex and Brenda. "What?"_

_"Not so fast!" The nurse exclaimed. "Have you ever laid down for so long that when you wake up you feel dizzy?"_

_"Sure." Tim frowned but realisation dawned on him. "I'm going to get dizzy."_

_"And then some. You've been flat on your back for two weeks, hun. We move you slowly to a sitting position but unfortunately your equilibrium is shot and it might make you nauseas. If it's too much, then let us know."_

_"Okay…" Tim said apprehensively. "Now?"_

_Alex waved the bed control in front of Tim's face. "No time like the present. We've got the basins, we've got the go ahead, so why wait."_

_Tim loved Alex's enthusiasm. He knew from talking to the physio that he was a beach boy at heart and every minute he got he drove to Maryland to surf. "Okay, let's do it before my team get here. I'd rather not have them see me throwing up."_

_"G'luck partner." Alex pressed the button and the head of Tim's bed started to rise very slowly. So slow that it left him thinking it would take an hour to get where they wanted. Slowly but surely Tim was being raised into a sitting position, but after being raised so that he was a quarter of the way up, dizziness and nausea hit._

_"Stop…please, just for a moment." Tim panted through the rising bile and closed his eye. "This is worse than being on a boat." He quipped._

_"You seasick?" Alex asked gently. "Well, this isn't much different. The equilibrium is out in much the same way. We can give you some Dramamine if you want?"_

_"No. It's fine, let's just get it over with. It's passing now."_

_"Good." The bed was raised a few more inches and the more Tim rose, the more the nausea rolled through him. All of a sudden, the bed stopped and Tim dared to open his eyes. "Alright! Good job…uh oh…" Alex just about managed to get the emesis basin under Tim's head as the change in position finally _  
_overwhelmed his patient, and threw up._

_**Present day…**_

"McGee…Tim…Hello! Tim, you with us?" Tim blinked a few times and turned to see Ziva, Gibbs and Tony all standing there looking at him. "About time, McGoo. We've been calling you for five minutes. Where were you?"

"Just thinking. So, you guys here to break me out?"

"Yes we are, son." Gibbs walked to the bed and put Tim's bag down on the end near his feet. "Ignore, DiNozzo. We've just gotten here. Ducky's finalising the paperwork and Abbs is busy setting up your laptop and DVD player at the centre."

Tim nodded his head and looked to the wheelchair. "Just hope I can actually get out of that thing."

"You've been doing well so far, Tim. It looks like you're all packed up, but we brought another bag just in case you needed it. I'm going to grab some of this stuff and take it down to the car. DiNozzo can give me a hand."

"Thanks, Boss." He waited until the Team leader and Tony had left the room with his gear before turning to Ziva. "Zee, come here."

Ziva went to him and sat down on the bed before leaning into a gentle hug. "I'm okay, McGee."

"You sure?"

"Yes, Rachel has helped a lot today." Ziva lied. The truth was, Ziva hadn't been getting anything out of the sessions, but didn't want to burden her friend.

"You know, sometimes, you're a crappy liar. Your eyes give it away." He watched as Ziva frowned and diverted her gaze to the floor. "Hey! None of that. Zee, what's going on?"

"I…Nothing. I just don't like seeing you here." When she finally looked at Tim, he could see nothing in her eyes but guilt. "I want you to be okay."

"You know this isn't your fault right?"

"I know."

"Liar." Tim grasped Ziva's chin and tugged gently so that she was looking at him. "I can see it in your face, Zee. Your eyes tell a different story. You're blaming yourself for what happened out there. We thought you were dead, Ziva. I had a feeling that you weren't, but we were working off the assumption you were. We didn't know you were there, only that we needed to bring in Saleem Ulman and take down his operation in Somalia. Seeing you there…when you were bought in…"

"What? McGee? You really didn't know? I have been struggling with the coincidence of it all."

Tim shook his head. "I didn't quite believe you were dead, but I didn't know you were there. It was all surreal finding you but I'm damned glad we did. I'd rather go through this and have you alive and here with us, than lose you again. We can't go through that again. Tony was a mess and all summer we were trying our hardest to find out what happened to you and break the case with Saleem. We got Intel that you had been there and knew what path you followed, but I hoped you were long gone and in hiding. If I'd known where you were and what they were dong to you, then we would have come a lot sooner."

A tear rolled down Ziva's cheek, breaking Tim's heart in two. What she kept locked away in that mind of hers he didn't know, but he had to break through her barriers and hoped that just talking to her would help.

"Thank you, McGee…Tim." Tim gathered Ziva up in his arms and kissed the top of her head. She frowned when she wrapped her arms around the hard plastic of the brace and pulled back to trace it with her fingers. "I hate this. I hate that you have to wear this and go through rehabilitation. It's not fair."

"I'll get through it and if I can't work the field, the Boss has been in negotiations to let me work my desk. Don't worry. It'll all be fine. You want to help me into the wheelchair?"

"Sure. How?"

"Just bring it near and hold the back. I'll do the rest." Tim waited for the wheelchair to be at a decent range and easily manoeuvred himself into it as Alex had taught him. "Stage one of rehab started when I got the brace. Alex helped me with getting in and out and getting dressed to a degree."

"Then we should hurry up and get you to the rehabilitation centre, should we not?"

Eager as ever, Tim thought and smiled as Ziva helped Tim with the footrests. Tim grinned as she stood up and took her hand, kissing the back of it. "Zee, it'll be alright. Just do me a favour and let it go."

Ziva nodded and smiled warmly, the first real positive emotion Tim had seen in a long time. Encouraging her to have hope, and reminding her that it wasn't her fault had worked; and as Tim's physical recovery started, Ziva's emotional and mental one had begun as well.


	5. Chapter 5

EPICINIUM chapter 5

A new day, a new round of physiotherapy. Tim had been in the rehabilitation centre for a couple of weeks and it was nice, but by no means where he wanted to be. Right now, he was lying on the bed in the gym with his new physiotherapist massaging his legs to warm the muscles.

"So, any new sensations?" Billy grasped Tim's leg under the knee and placed his other hand on the sole of Tim's foot. He gently lifted Tim's leg and moved it towards his patient's body.

"Tingling and I can kind of feel your hands. I don't know whether it's because I know they're there or not."

"Well that's something. The nerves are starting to fire again, so the tingling might get worse. The main thing is we try to reverse atrophy in your muscles. It's not too bad because it hasn't been long, but still…whoa! Are you pushing back against me?"

Tim frowned. "I'm trying to. Why?"

"Because there's definite resistance there. Any other time it's been easy to move your legs but this time…try it again, but gently. The exercises are designed to help you without putting pressure on the fracture. The brace will support your back, now come on, Tim. Try and push back into my hand."

Tim's face contorted into sheer concentration and a sheen of sweat appeared on his forehead. He had his doubts about what Billy had felt, but he was going to try his hardest to get some control back. He let out the breath he was holding and dropped his head back onto the bench. "Anything?" he panted and opened his eyes to look at Billy. The physiotherapist was grinning from ear to ear.

"Oh yeah. You pushed back. Not much, but it was there. It's definitely a step in the right direction."

Tim eyed Billy warily. "Step? Really?"

"Hey, gotta keep the faith. Come on; let's see if you can do it with the other leg." Billy placed Tim's leg back on the bed and moved to the other one. He repeated the procedure and grinned. "There's something there, Tim. It's faint, but you're doing it."

"I think I felt something then. I…my muscles twitched and I felt it."

"There was a twitch after I put your leg down. You felt that?"

Tim shrugged. "I think so. There was a flutter of something. Now it's tingling a bit. It's kind of weird."

"I'll take weird over dead." Billy looked thoughtful and glanced over toward the parallel bars. "You know, I might start you on the harness next session."

"No way!" Tim shook his head. "Just because I can push back against you a little bit doesn't mean I can support my weight."

"Who said anything about supporting your weight? The harness will do that, but it's a good way of getting your muscles strengthened. First things first though, if you're pushing back, let's see if you've got any more movement in there."

Two days previous, Tim had a weird sensation in his foot. With it came, there was a twitch that spurred Tim into trying to move his toes. He'd moved his toes before, but the movement was barely there. With a lot of concentration and a lot of hard work, Tim had managed to not only move his toes, but his foot as well; something he had been able to replicate in his physiotherapy session the next day.

"Come on, Tim. Move those piggies." Billy grinned at Tim's laugh and whooped when Tim managed to wiggle his toes and move his feet slightly. "Okay, well you can move your foot and your toes, how about we go for the whole leg for next session. Now, the fun part…upper body strength."

Tim's head dropped back onto the pillow. The sessions were exhausting but finally, he felt as though he was getting somewhere and that slowly, but surely, he was getting better.

***NCIS***

"McGoo's not here." Tony sat heavily in the chair and sighed.

"Well yeah, DiNozzo, I can see that." Gibbs gave Tony a headslap and put the coffees he was carrying on the table. "He's probably having physio."

"So we're still breaking him out? I mean, they said it was okay. .."

"Tony, if you ask me that one more time! We're gonna take him out for lunch so quit worrying."

Tim chuckled from the door making Gibbs and Tony turn. "Good to see you're still getting the headslaps Tony." He rolled into the room and took the coffee Gibbs had bought him. "Thanks, Boss."

Gibbs nodded and perched on Tim's bed. "How did it go?"

"Great!" Tim grinned widely. "Billy said I pushed back against his hand this time and I've got to work on getting more movement in my legs."

"So you can still move your feet?" Tony asked and when Tim nodded, he grinned. "That's great man, it can only get better from here right?"

"Hope so. My hands and arms are sore as hell though. Billy had me working on upper body strength as well. Said it'd help with transferring and getting around in this thing. Oh, he wants to try the harness and parallel bars next session as well. I don't think I'm ready but I'll give it a go."

"Attaboy." Gibbs said proudly. "And I bet you're sore, pushing yourself round in that all day." Gibbs took one of Tim's hands and turned it over, scowling at the callouses and red patches on his boy's palm. "Looks sore. Maybe these'll help." The team leader pulled out a pair of fingerless leather gloves and handed them over to his youngest boy.

"Thanks, Boss. They gave me something to put on my hands, and it helps but…" Tim put the gloves on and grinned broadly, his smile full of thanks. "These will make it a lot easier.

"You're welcome, son. So, anything else new?" Gibbs asked and sat back down on Tim's bed.

"Not much. Rachel came by yesterday. We had the obligatory hour and then I watched a couple of DVD's before the occupational therapist stopped by and took me to this apartment they have set up to help people adapt to life in a wheelchair. I told her I had no plans of staying in this thing but she said it couldn't hurt. I've gone through everything with her, including family stuff. How much longer do we need to do that for?"

Gibbs huffed out a laugh. "For now, indefinitely and it's good to know you have someone to talk to. As far as the OT goes, you might not be in that thing for ever, but might as well try and make life easier for yourself in the meantime."

Tim nodded. Gibbs was right, he knew that; but the uphill struggle was starting to wear him down. "Yeah. I know. So, where are you taking me?"

"Quelle surprise, Probilicious. Now, how about you save your hands and let me take the wheel…or wheels in your case…ow! Sorry boss."

Tim laughed loudly and held up his hands before folding them in his lap. "You know that means 'what a surprise' right?"

"Well, it will be a surprise, for you anyway." Tony grasped the handles and started to push Tim out of his room. "Just sit back, enjoy the ride and know that we've got'cha, McGee."

***NCIS***

Gibbs pulled up outside his house and shut off the engine. With a grin, he turned to Tim and laughed at the confused look on his agents face. "You'll find out soon enough, McGee. You ready?"

"Boss how?" Gibbs pulled out his phone and dialled.

"Yeah, we're here." With that, the team leader hung up and got out of the car. About ten seconds later, Jimmy and Vance walked out of the house carrying something long and wooden. Tim didn't understand what it was until they laid it over the two steps leading up to the porch, effectively turning it into a ramp. He was amazed that they had gone to this much trouble and jumped when the door was opened. "I've had a lot of time on my hands, McGee. My door is always open to my family, so I made a little something to give you access."

Tim was at a loss for words and felt his heart swell. It was such an inane thing, but something that ensured he wasn't completely left out when he needed Gibbs. "Thanks, Boss. That means a lot."

"Yeah, well. How about we get you inside. The team helped put a little something together. Something to give you a break from everything." Gibbs stepped back and parked Tim's wheelchair adjacent to his agent. Tony passed Tim the wooden transfer board and watched as Tim managed to transfer from the car to his chair with ease.

"Looks like they've been teaching you a lot there."

"They've been great." Tim responded and placed the board on the passenger seat of the car. "And Billy says physio is bang on track, but I still need help with showering because of this thing." He rapped on the brace and secured the strap round his thighs just above the knee.

"Did they say how long you'll need to keep that on?" Gibbs asked and closed the door once Tim had pushed himself away.

"I think it's only on for 6 weeks total, just like a cast, but then I'll move onto a girdle that'll support my back while it strengthens. It could be longer though. I can't wait to get rid of it, it's really uncomfortable."

"Do what they say, McGee." Gibbs warned. "To the letter."

"If it means I'll get out of this chair and back on my feet, then there's no other way." Tim felt Tony tap his arms and rested his hands in his lap. "So, you think you can push me up there?"

"It's a gentle slope. The boss made sure it reached out so the angle's better." Tony grunted as he pushed Tim up and let his friend take control once more when on the porch. "Damn! McGee, you might have lost weight but you're still heavy."

Tim laughed loudly. "Told ya." He just about managed to get through the door to the house when Abby came rushing towards him. Tim reversed; worried that she'd jar his back with the force of her hug.

"Abigail, no!" Ducky called out. "You need to be gentle!"

Abby stopped in her tracks and turned towards Ducky with her hands on her hips. "I know that Ducky, I wouldn't hurt, Timmy."

"Well then how about you come and give me that hug then, Abbs." Tim held out his arms and Abby bent down and gave him a soft squeeze.

"I miss you, McGee."

Tim laughed. "Abbs, I see and speak to you every day."

"I know." She said and pulled back. "But still…Oh hey! Come on, we've set up the grill in Gibbs' fireplace. Or at least el jefe did, and everyone's here. We'd do it outside, but it's a bit cold and…"

"Let him through, Abbs." Gibbs kissed Abby's cheek and pulled her out of the way so Tim could wheel himself to the living room. When he got there, he saw Ziva sitting near the fire looking wistful. A look that only lasted a moment when she glanced up and saw him looking at her. Her façade slipped into place and she stood up to go and greet him.

"McGee. It is wonderful to see you outside of that centre. You are looking well and I love your gloves."

"Thanks, Zee. The boss gave them to me." He reached out and grasped her hand, pulling her down so he could hug her. "You okay?" he whispered gently.

"I am fine." She pulled back and rested her hand on his cheek. "You do not need to worry about me."

"Yeah, I do. You still haven't let anyone break through those walls and I'm worried. Now I'm mobile, how about you come see me tomorrow and we'll have lunch. Just me and you."

Ziva smiled wistfully and nodded. "I would very much like that, Tim." With a soft kiss to Tim's cheek, she pulled back. "Would you like a beer?"

"I can't because of the meds, but I'd love a diet coke if there is any."

Ziva laughed. "Ah, well we were prepared. All your favourites are here and ready and Gibbs is going to prepare cowboy steak?"

"Yup. Best steak you'll ever have." Gibbs walked past them carrying a tray of meat. "There's some rabbit food in the kitchen too and everyone's brought a dish. Thought you could do with some family time, McGee."

"Appreciate that, Boss. It's good to be out of there for a while."

"Well, we have to have you back by ten, so let's make the most of it while we can." Tony handed Tim a can of diet coke. "McGee, you have no idea how good it is to see you outside a hospital room." He clinked his beer against Tim's can. "I miss ya, bro."

"Thanks, Tony. That means a lot." Tony winked and sat down on the sofa next to Ducky. Tim watched as his family all settled down and Gibbs started cooking the steaks. This was just what he needed as his time in rehab was lonely and frustrating. Something he kept to himself because the team were all suffering in their own unique ways. Despite everything they had been through, watching them all now, laughing, talking and helping each other made Tim realise just how lucky he really was.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N I just want to say a huge thank you to my fantastic beta Gotta. Without her I would have been stuck in a mire, so thank you for your ideas, your wonderful help and your inspiration hun. I owe you!**

EPCINIUM Chapter 6

"Billy, I'm telling you it's not happening. Harness or not, IT IS NOT GOING TO WORK!" Tim shouted the latter part and grasped hold of the bars. He did not feel safe despite being suspended enough so that his feet were flat on the floor, but weren't bearing any of his weight. "Just let me sit back down!"

Billy shook his head. "Not happening. Listen, your first week here, you couldn't even move your feet. Look at you now. You're ready Tim, just trust me and try."

"Ready? Seriously? We've been at this for half an hour. For thirty minutes, I have been leaning on these damn bars. For thirty minutes, I have been trying to move my useless legs and I'm telling you, IT. IS. NOT. HAPPENING!"

Billy sighed heavily and ran his hands through his hair. "What's going on with you today? The first ten days, you were keen to do everything and wanted to progress faster than your body was able. Now…Tim, this defeatist attitude isn't the Timothy McGee I've come to know over the past couple of weeks."

Tim's head hung low so that his chin was on his chest. He had no idea why, but today Tim felt as though everything was crashing down around him. Last night had been wonderful. He'd been able to relax with his family and friends and just pretend that he was normal despite the wheelchair. He had even woken up on a high this morning but it all came crashing down when he saw the harness and tried to move his legs. No matter what he did or how hard he tried, his legs just wouldn't obey him. All he managed was a twitch of the foot that was neither use nor ornament when it came to walking.

"I can't do it, Billy. I…my legs won't work. They won't do what I want them to do. I'm telling you, this is worse than the first week here! At least I could rationalise it as being the first week of treatment but I still cried every night with frustration because nothing was happening beyond a tingle, or a flutter of movement in my toe." He paused and breathed heavily through his nose, willing the tears away. "Have you been in this situation? Knowing that there's a glimmer of hope there, but everyday it becomes more of a distant thing when you discover you can't actually do a thing?"

"Not in the exact situation you're in, Tim. I broke my neck when I was 12 in a surfing accident. I thought I was ready to surf this huge wave, but I wasn't. Damn near drowned and ended up wearing a halo for 8 weeks. Luckily, I wasn't paralysed, just kind of numb and had some movement, but after a week of lying there, and another 7 weeks of wearing a halo, I was feeling pretty damn sorry for myself. Pretty much like you are now." Billy grabbed the remote to the harness and called his colleague over. Between them, they managed to get Tim safely sitting in his wheelchair and once the harness was disconnected from the straps, Billy wheeled Tim to the bench and sat down with his patient facing him. "Truth of the matter is, you've got a long way to go my friend; and I'm going to push you as much as I can to get you there. I've seen your latest scans and they're looking fantastic. The fracture is healing well, there's no swelling anymore, so now it's a case of working on your muscles. The nerves are firing again, and sure there's a chance that some damage is permanent, but you've got to work with me."

Tim nodded and sighed heavily. "This morning, I spilled some of my coffee on my thigh. I felt it, but not the burning I was expecting. More of a slight ghost of pain. Dipped my finger in the cup and it was red hot. Guess it got me down a little bit. I thought the feeling was coming back…"

"It is. You can feel more now than in the first week here. Some nerves just take longer to wake up than others and I'm honestly not worried at this stage. If anything, you are making more progress than a lot of my patients."

"It doesn't feel like it…" Tim grumbled and rubbed his eyes. "I'm tired, and grouchy. I told you the first week was hard. It's adapting as well. All of a sudden, I've gone from being treated medically and having minimal help bar transferring and taking care of myself, to having lessons of how to live at home in a mock up apartment, physio which includes building up my upper body strength so I push myself and transfer easier and…" Tim sighed. "Right now, I can't see anything but the negatives."

"And what did Sky tell you just before that first session in the apartment?"

Tim frowned and thought back to the first time he met Sky.

_**Flashback…**_

_"Timothy McGee?" Tim turned in his wheelchair to see a young women standing in his doorway. "I'm Sky Burton, your new Occupational Therapist."_

_Tim held out his hand. "So you're here to teach me how to live in this thing, huh? Well, I don't plan on needing if for long so…"_

_"Maybe not." Sky replied. "But while you are using it, let's try and make your life easier while we can." She walked over to the chair beside Tim's bed and handed him a folder. "Here's a list of things that we can help you implement at home for now. Some are temporary, but there are some permanent ones there that you don't have to look at just yet."_

_"Just yet? I'm trying to be positive here." Tim sighed heavily. "Sorry, this is just too much. Before, in Bethesda, it was medical. Here it's all about adapting my life and the way I do things. This is scaring me more than anything."_

_Sky reached over and put her hand on Tim's arm. "Tim, the apartment has similar elements to your room here. You know how to use the bathroom, you know how to dress; but I know for a fact that the nursing staff here helps you by getting your clothes. They take your laundry, they help when you have an accident. My job isn't to put you down, it's to make you more at ease and less dependent on strangers here. I don't know how much you've been told, but there's a resident laundry room that is fully adapted. There's a recreation pool separate from the physio pool you can use when you get the brace off and catheter out, and there's a kitchen allocated to this room so if you wanted to and felt confident enough, you can go and make yourself something to eat. We're not a hospital and we're sure as hell not a prison. The mock apartment is kitted out in the same way as the facilities here, so maybe, just maybe I can make your life here more bearable."_

_A weight seemed to lift from Tim's shoulders. Now that she'd explained the reasons behind what she did, it made sense. "So I can help myself?"_

_"Absolutely. So, before I whisk you away, I want to know how you are getting on with the catheter?"_

_Tim blushed furiously and turned his gaze to the floor. "Okay."_

_"It's nothing to be ashamed of. I want to discuss the possibility of removing it and getting you back to the point where you can take care of your toileting functions yourself again. I've been speaking to the nurse and she said you feel pressure when you need to have a bowel movement and that you take care of that function. How would you feel about removing the catheter, and wearing pads while you get used to a urinal." Sky reached into a bag she had bought with her and pulled out a plastic male urinal. "Of course, if you can hold it, you can transfer to the toilet but let's try this for now."_

_"And I can get rid of the tube?" Tim asked. It was the one thing he hated and wanted nothing more than to get rid of it. Sky nodded and smiled._

_"Completely rid of it."_

_Tim agreed to give it a go and a wave of relief washed over him. Not only was she going to help him, but his fears were also alleviated. Maybe, just maybe, his life wasn't so bad. "Thank you." He said gratefully._

_"You're welcome. Just remember that anything is possible, Tim. You just have to have a little faith in yourself."_

**_Present day…_**

"She really helped me. I thought she was there because I'd never walk again, but she really has made my life in here easier. She gave me independence and helped me learn to adapt temporarily. One big thing for me was getting the catheter removed. There was a dicey few days, but with her support, everything in that department got back to normal. She told me I had to have a little faith in myself."

Billy grinned. "She's good at what she does and wise words my friend. So, how about you take that faith, and trust me? It's not easy, but it'll be worth it in the end. I'm hopeful that you'll get a good deal of function back, if not all."

"Can I ask a question?" Tim memory of his first meeting reminded him of something. "The physio pool. What does that do?"

"It depends which one you mean. There's a whirlpool which uses jets to stimulate and massage, you've got mineral baths or the main pool or…"

Tim held up his hand. "The main pool. I've been doing some research and I've found something about the buoyancy helping support your weight. I was wondering whether I could try it out."

"You're down for it, but we're waiting for the go ahead to remove the brace. I know you can remove it while showering, and they give you a reprieve for a short time when you're in bed with the provision you don't bend, but you can't go in the pool with it on. When is your next check up with Ash?"

Tim frowned. "Umm…I think she's coming in the next couple of days. I'll have to check."

"Okay, leave a message for me when you know the date and I'll clear my schedule. I'll speak to her and if she gives the go ahead, then we can start in the pool. For now, Special Agent McGee, you are going to buck up, give the harness another go…" Billy looked at his watch and frowned. "Tomorrow and you are going to work on trying to move those legs."

"Slave driver."

"Maybe so, but It's for your own good."

"Yeah, sure." Tim said quietly. "Can you take this off?"

Billy sighed and started to undo the straps to the body harness they used during the session. "It is for your own good and it's temporary. Don't forget that. The sooner you get your positive attitude back, the better because this negativity is only going to hold you back."

Tim nodded and waited until he was free of the harness. "So, same time tomorrow?" He asked with a rueful smile.

"You know it, partner. There's someone waiting to take you back." Billy turned Tim round and gave a sloppy salute to Gibbs. "You catch all of that?"

"Most of it." Gibbs walked up to Tim and laid one hand on his crestfallen agents shoulder before issuing a head slap. "Ducky's with me, but he's waiting in your room. I think a little talk is in order, don't you?"

"Boss?" Tim asked warily. "Billy's been…"

"I heard. I also know you well. Come on." Gibbs grabbed the handles of the wheelchair. "Thanks, Billy. He'll listen to you tomorrow"  
Billy smirked, knowing that Tim was in for one hell of a pep talk. "I know it. Just be gentle."

"Always am." Gibbs replied and wheeled Tim out back to the room.


	7. Chapter 7

EPICINIUM chapter 7

Two Months later…

Tim sat opposite Dr. Cranston in the quiet coffee shop around the corner from the rehabilitation centre. This was nice; sure, he had done it with the team, but having a session outside of his room felt fantastic. It was his last session with Rachel, and she'd told him two days earlier that she had no qualms about signing him off from a psychological point of view.

"So, you said you'd tell me what spurred the extra sessions. Not that I'm complaining, but when Gibbs tells me to speak to his boy three times a week, I don't ask questions. I was surprised you didn't put up a fuss though."

With a laugh, Tim took a long drink of his coffee, savouring the sweet treat. Ordinarily, he was a plain coffee drinker, especially seeing as he'd been losing weight, but since his physio meant he burned more calories, he'd been drinking Tony's favourite hazelnut cappuccino's; something his friend had gotten him into one day when he handed Tim the wrong drink. "Believe it or not, it was a combined effort between Billy, Gibbs and Ducky."

"You told me about Billy when discussing the harness. You failed to mention anything about Gibbs and Ducky though."

Tim shrugged. "Not much to tell. They saw I needed help, so they took matters into their own hands."

**_Flashback…_**

_"Boss, this really isn't necessary." Tim groaned as he was wheeled into his room. "Billy's talked to me. We're good." He winced when he heard Gibbs bark an order to one of the nurses that they were not to be disturbed, before the door closing behind him. Ducky handed him a bag with his favourite sandwich in it, and a coffee._

_"Jethro, what on earth is going on?" Ducky sat down in one of the visitor's chairs and patted Tim's leg. "Timothy, are you okay, my dear boy?"_

_"I'm fi…"_

_"If you say you are fine, you're feeling my palm, McGee." Gibbs interrupted gruffly and sat down beside Ducky. He took a long draw from his cup and glared at his Agent. "What's going on, Tim. Why the meltdown?"_

_"You saw that." Tim cringed. _

_"Nope. I heard it. I was on my way down to see how you were doing and heard you yelling up a storm. Talk to me."_

_"I'm just frustrated, Gibbs. That's all."_

_Ducky sat back in the chair and frowned. "Timothy, are the sessions with Rachel ineffective?" _

_"No, they really help, but…." Tim sighed. "It's just I'm getting nowhere fast. I mean, shouldn't I at least be walking by now? I spill coffee on my leg, and don't feel it burn. That's not getting better. That's not doing well."_

_"It takes time, Timothy." _

_Tim's eyes darted to Ducky and the frustration and anger bubbled to the surface once more. "You don't think I know that? Come on! Everyone keeps telling me it takes time, but how much time? How long does it have to be before you all realise that nothings working. Nothing is happening and I'm going to be stuck in this damn thing for the rest of my life!" With a huff, Tim turned himself round in the wheelchair and started to go towards the bathroom. He was on the verge of tears, and no way was he going to let them see how weak he was emotionally as well._

_"MCGEE! STOP RIGHT THERE!" Gibbs yelled and jumped up. With skilled ease, he grabbed the chair and spun it round. _

_"Jethro! You mustn't do that! You can jar his back and aggravate the fracture!" Ducky admonished and went to Tim to make sure his young friend was okay. "Are you okay, Timothy?"_

_Tim looked up at Ducky briefly and shook his head. "No. Physically, the same but I'm cracking, Ducky. I can't…what do I do? Huh? What happens now?" Tears finally leaked out of Tim's eyes, trailing a wet path down his cheeks. _

_"Ah, Timothy." Ducky reached out and cupped Tim's face, using his thumb to wipe away the tears. "Injuries like the one you sustained do not heal easily. It is a long process that takes healing of the body, mind and soul. It's a journey, but one that will be a distant memory if you work hard and be patient. I have seen your MRI's and X-rays, young man. Everything is looking just as it should be and your nerves are responding. I can't tell you how happy I was when you moved your foot."_

_"Listen to him, Tim." Gibbs was crouched down on the other side of Tim. "You've come this far. You really going to give up and throw that away?"_

_"No, Boss." _

_"Don't say that because you think that's what I want to hear. Say it because you mean it, Tim. Say it because you want to fight."_

_Tim nodded. "I do, but it's hard, Boss. I don't want to disappoint anyone." _

_'So that's what's on the kids mind' Gibbs thought and huffed out a laugh. "Damn it, McGee. Stop worrying about us and get your mind back on your therapy."_

_"He's right, Timothy. You are what is important and while you are busy worrying about us, we are busy worrying about you. Now, I happen to know Dr. Cranston comes here once a week to see you."_

_"Yeah. She's been really good." Tim admitted._

_"Well, how about we arrange for her to see you three times a week. It won't do any harm, my dear boy and it might just stop you stewing about things so much."_

_"That obvious huh?"_  
_"McGee, I can read you like a book." Gibbs shook his head. "Damn fine agent, but your eyes always give you away."_

_Tim laughed loudly at that and wiped at his eyes. "Guess they do."_

_"Uh huh. Oh, and Sarah called NCIS. She said answer your damn phone!"…_

_**Present day…**_

"You stopped answering calls from your family?" Rachel asked with a smirk. "I met your sister once, and she's not one to cross."

"No she's not. I was having a bad week." Tim laughed. "She soon sorted me out. She said as soon as she's back from Europe, she's going to kick my butt."

"Can't say I disagree with her methods, but tell her to be gentle. You can't afford any setbacks."

"Ain't that the truth." Tim agreed. He looked at his watch. "I've got to go. I've got a session with Billy."

"In the pool? I know they've really helped you."

"No, this time in the gym, but the hydrotherapy has been the most useful treatment so far. It feels good to take this off for a while longer as well." Tim indicated the brace. "I can't wait to get rid of it for good."

"Any idea when that'll be?" Rachel asked with a smile.

"Couple of weeks hopefully. Ash and Billy both agreed to keep it on for a while longer. Care to accompany me to my session. You can see for yourself how well I've done and sign me off completely."

Rachel frowned. "You want me to attend your session?"

"You don't have to, but the team is going to be there." At Rachel's confused look, he leaned in. "I'll let you into a little secret…"

***NCIS***

Half an hour later, and they were in the gym laughing at something Billy had said. They were so engrossed in their conversation that the trio didn't notice the team arrive.

"Probie! And the lovely Rachel. Don't tell me, group therapy?" Tony grinned and gave Billy a nudge with his shoulder. "I know our problems, but what've you done to earn a session?"

"Hello, McGee." Ziva leaned down and kissed Tim on the cheek. Tim grinned and grabbed Ziva's hand before she stood up. "Are you okay, Tim?"

"That's what I was going to ask you, Zee. You okay?"

"I am fine." Ziva responded with a warm smile that reached her eyes. "I have been making progress."

"That's good to hear." Tim looked up to see Abby standing right behind Ziva. "Hey, Abbs. Where's my hug?"

"It's here. I'm being patient." Abby grinned, looking proud of herself. Ziva stood back and gave Tim's hand a final squeeze, letting Abby jump in. Tim soon had his arms full of the Goth and squeezed her tight.

"Abbs, I've missed your bear hugs."

"I know, but I don't want to hurt you more. I'm saving them up." She pulled back and Tim greeted Gibbs, Ducky, Palmer and finally Vance.

"Director, I wasn't expecting you here."

"Well, I heard from Gibbs that we'd all been invited and decided to tag along. I haven't been around as much as I'd hoped, but my curiosity got the better of me. You're looking good, Agent McGee."

"Thanks." Tim sighed and glanced at Billy who gave him a reassuring smile. "I've asked you all here for a reason. First of all, it's been a hard few months and not just for me. There's been a lot of healing emotionally and physically for all of us. Even down to the relationship of the team."

"It has been hard, but I believe we have made it through." Ziva agreed and smiled at Tony. "It is nice to finally be on an…what is the saying…even keel?"

"That's the one, Ziva." Gibbs wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "So, McGee, what's this about?"

Tim laughed at Gibbs' impatient tone. "Well, you've all been here for me and I appreciate that. You've been there every step of the way and been my rock. I do have Billy, Gibbs and Ducky to thank for giving me the kick up the ass I needed and wanted to ask you here to see something." He turned to Billy and nodded.

"You sure about this?" The physio asked, knowing damn well that Tim was.

"Absolutely." Tim winked at him and pushed away from the group. "Be back in a minute." He disappeared around the screen that had been set up leaving everyone to talk amongst themselves.

"What's going on, Billy?" Gibbs asked and nodded once towards the screen. "He okay?"

"He's fine, Gibbs. Trust me on that." Billy grinned at the team leader and picked up the bag he had bought with him.

"Well, I must say, young Timothy has been rather tight lipped about his therapy lately. He did mention hydro therapy, but that's about it."

"And there's a good reason for that." Tim interrupted them all. They all turned to him and there was a collective gasp. Ziva and Abby both had their hands over the mouths with tears in their eyes, while the men grinned broadly at the sight. There, standing in front of them was Tim. He was on crutches, and the brace was still in place for support, but he was standing on his own two feet. "Someone say something." He said, grinning nervously.

"Probie, you're…it's…way to go!" Tony said with a punch in the air. "When…how…what…"

"Full sentences work, DiNozzo." Gibbs said gruffly before turning to Tim. "McGee that's brilliant!"

Tim started to slowly walk over to the group. It took a while, and a warning not to help but he made it and sat down in the wheelchair that Billy had retrieved. "I can't go far yet, but baby steps right?"

"Absolutely. Now, Partner, you want to do the honors?" Billy handed Tim the bottle of champagne he'd brought with him, keeping the small stack of plastic cups with him. "Tim asked me to buy this yesterday. We've been planning this for a few days."

Tim took the bottle. "I thought we could celebrate." With that, he grasped the bottle and put his thumbs either side of the cork. "You might want to step back," he warned and pushed the cork out, the satisfying pop of celebration echoing through the gym. With a cheer, the small group moved in and congratulated Tim. It was a small step forward, but one closer to the end of the long journey.

**Finis…**

**Just a quick note to say I hope you enjoy your story Meekosan. I'm not a doctor or a nurse so the information has been taken from the internet. I apologise if it's wrong. **

**Finally, to Deb aka gotta. My wonderful friend and Beta. You have been wonderful hun. You have really helped me out, given me support and helped me out of the mire when I really needed it. I appreciate everything you have done.**


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